California cell phone ban just makes oh so much sense!

I've tried to avoid this rant, but screw it...I'm pissed.

As of July first, California passed a law and now it is illegal to drive with a cell phone to your ear. It's not illegal to use a cell phone while driving mind you; you just can't have it to your ear. There have been ads and commercials galore here for months, "Get your hands-free device to comply with the law!"

Why is this? The person who wrote the bill was worried about people driving distracted by their cell phones. Never mind that there are already laws in place against driving distracted...we needed to have one specifically addressing cell phones, it seems.

Oh, and there aren't any studies indicating that driving distracted by a cell phone is somehow more dangerous than driving distracted by, oh I dunno...kids. Or CD changing. Or fast-food eating. Or make-up application.

Now, let's walk through this, shall we?

You're driving, and your cell phone rings. Since it's unlikely you have your little ear thingy in, you need to fumble around and find it. Distracting. You need to shove it in your ear. Distracting. After that you are as engaged in the conversation as you would be if you were holding the cell to your ear, right? Still distracted!

Let's say you want to make a call. You can. You can still dial your phone. Distracting!

And guess what! You can still text while driving. Because that's not at all distracting!

I can also still use the speaker phone function of my cell, and hold it up to my mouth so that the person to whom I am speaking can hear me. Right in front of my face. In my field of vision. No, not at all distracting.

Furthermore, if I so chose, I can hold a banana to my ear while I drive. That's not illegal. I can hold a latte to my ear, or a flashlight, or a stuffed animal. Just not a cell phone.

Because that would be too distracting.

Once more, our tax dollars hard at work!


Onto a happier topic...

BlogHer is just days away now. Like, count-on-one-hand-days away.

Do you think I can lose twenty pounds by Friday? No? I didn't think so.

So, if you are going to BlogHer and we meet and take a photo together, please make sure your camera has the "Shed Twenty Pounds Off Subject Filter," on, 'kay? Thanks!

While I am gone, all laptopless and cameraless (really, someone ought to just buy me this stuff so I stop complaining), my blog will be in great hands. As everyone wants a piece of Watch Me Christine, my inbox was not literally flooded with hundreds of requests to guest post while I'm at BlogHer.

There were enough, however, to grab a hat, throw in a handful of names, and draw some straws. Or, rather, names from a hat. Mixing metaphors is never a good idea.

And thus, without further ado...here are the keepers of my castle while I am away. These are some amazing women. It's hard to guest post; you are putting yourself out there in a whole different way. I'd love it if you gave them some comment love (this is a great time to de-lurk)!

We've got:

  • Darla, from Beauty Inside and Out, is a dear friend of mine. She has been nudging me along, ever so gently for months, to get my ass in gear and get my online store up and running. And by nudging, I mean sharing every last bit of information she's gained over the years, and her advice is full of pearls because her store has had phenomenal success. She is also very active in her 11-year-old's life and holding down the home front when her Chief-of-Police husband is working his long shifts.
  • And there is Katja, who has personally made me four degrees from Oprah. And three degrees from TomKat. She will be gracing us with her words. She is a beautiful soul (and, dangit, is beautiful outside, too...she used to be a model) and never fails to inspire. You can find her at Skimbaco.
  • Astacia, a tweeting friend of mine, blogs at Life on the Run will be doing me the honor of sharing some of her insights while I'm gone.
  • Kim, also a tweeting buddy, is from Rainy Day Diamonds, has a funny tale to tell about a recent expedition she took. Hilarious!


  1. I have never got so many calls whilst driving like I have had since July 1st. It is almost like my friends/family KNOW I am driving, so they decide to call me...

    Have fun at BlogHer.

  2. Oh don't even get me started on THIS topic. OY!

    Look forward to Friday. =)

  3. I can't believe the first Socialist state of MD hasn't followed suit yet.


  4. I totally agree with the cell phone thing. I have always said then we need to include men shaving and women putting on mascara...I mean if that's not an accident waiting to happen!

    Also, is Blogher really not going to have a room with about 1500 computers connected to a network? It a dang Blogher Convention...Sheesh! Also, can you even imagine trying to get on the wireless network at that hotel in your room...I can't even imagine how slow it would be.

  5. It has happened yet in AZ, but I'm waiting!

  6. When you find that "Shed Twenty Pounds Off Subject Filter" give me a holler. Really.

  7. I just found your blog. I love it! Here in Phoenix, they did make it illegal to text while driving. You can talk all you want, but you can't text. Brlliant.

  8. I read about this.

    Silly. So so silly.

    Tennessee legislators won't let California ship wine to us poor, Jack Daniels soaked residents.

    Silly. So silly.

  9. Washington's cell phone law went into effect the same day. Dumb. My favorite thing now is when husband calls me on the cell and I answer because it's him and I don't want him to worry and he says 'are you driving.' Um, yes, else I would have answered at home. Then he yells at me for breaking the law while I'm driving. We have issues.

  10. I'd love a "no texting" law, but alas we only got a no talking law here in Washington on July 1st as well. Some of us do it anyway :) but we at least try to do it only when necessary now!

  11. It CRACKS me up when my husband doesn't pick up the phone when I call him, but texts me to say that he's driving and can't answer. Safe? Me thinks NOT.

    Come find me at BlogHer, you can borrow my laptop any time!

  12. Oh yeah. That cell phone thing chaps my rear end. Doesn't make any sense! I love your comparison of holding a banana to your ear! HA! Hysterical.

    Maybe Verizon can make a phone that looks like a banana....

    Came over from Jennifer at Playgroups...

  13. Another AZ person here~ I drive all day long for my job and talk on the phone to keep my sanity. I do use an earpiece just so I can have hands free to eat my Taco Bell...

  14. Have you not figured it out yet?

    The cellphone law is specifically aimed at men.

    We all know women can drive and put on make-up / put on pantyhose / smack the kids in the back seat / make bottles / change nappies / clean the back of the Voyager / give blowjobs while driving. I.e. the dreaded 'M' word. Yes- I am talking about: MULTITASKING

    But they couldn't pass the law for JUST men you see.


Brilliant observations: