2008-04-05

Breaking up is hard to do

This week Mrs. Flinger posted a picture of her office. So being the lemming I am (I am not)I decided to do the same (happily I took a photo of my workspace before my camera went caput):

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I've been living in this rental for about half a year now. You'd think I would have my shit together by now. I don't. This house is so much smaller than the one we sold I just can't find room for the stuff.

Here's my old living room:

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Here's my new one:

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And, just for fun, here is my old dining room:

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And kitchen nook:
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And cooktop:
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It's weird to me that someone else is living in that house. I flipping designed it, you know? I spent hours on drawing out everything from the elevation to the cabinetries for the architect. See those glass cabinets at the top of the uppers? That was me. See the various tilework? My designs, my selections. My vision realized.

And the colors...oh, how I loved those colors.

That house was a labor of love, a culmination of years of images ripped from magazines and drawings on napkins. That was the house I thought my children would come home to from college, and where my grandchildren would visit us. Maybe stay with us for a week while their parents, our children, enjoyed a second honeymoon.

And someone else is calling that place THEIRS. I know, they bought it, it IS theirs. It's just hard for me to accept that. The other day my former next door neighbor told me that the new owners just love it. I know she wanted me to know it is loved. Yes, I am glad for that.

But it's like when you break up with someone you care about but know it's not meant to be, and later you spot them with someone else. That punch in the gut feeling, that loss of breath, that lingering longing and feeling of possession. That's how I feel about that house.

But part of it, it's soul, will always be mine. Or maybe what I'm saying, what is really accurate, is that part of my heart will always be there.

15 comments:

  1. Oh, my heart is hurtin' for ya! Your old casa was sweet, but not as sweet as the price of that rental, baby! ;)

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  2. I'm so sorry that you had to sell your house. I haven't been reading long enough to know why but I can tell by the way you write about it that it probably wasn't by choice. Also, when I win the lottery, which I'm sure will be this week, could you design and decorate a house for me?

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  3. bfoti stole the words out of my mouth... my heart breaks for you...
    Life can be so odd and crazy...

    And your description at the end - so true.

    xo ~K

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  4. The living room ceiling mirroring the windows is pure genius.

    I also love the colors you chose in the dining room.

    Your gift for designing is in your heart which cannot be bought or sold. Others can buy and sell the fruits of your labor, but the process is beyond their reach.

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  5. Reading that ripped my heart out - the house was gorgeous.

    Life is crazy sometimes, (((YOU))).

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  6. oh, honey, I KNOW. I mean, I don't know know. But I know. I used to have a living room. Now I have one gigantic playroom. And no work space. Or private place to crap. *sigh*

    But I know it's more than that. So, well, tell me to shudup and then let me tell you how much I love that you blogged your office. XO

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  8. You can see my office here: http://mamamo.blogspot.com/2008/01/office.html
    It's much bigger than yours, but I think we have the same decorator.

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  9. Wonderful post. You inspired mine today. Thank you!

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  10. I miss your old place for you. Sorry part of your heart is still there.

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  11. I'm w/ shania. I haven't read here before, but I'm curious as to why you're not at your house any longer.

    But the office, put a MacBook on that desk and it's my office.

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  12. Your previous home is just beautiful! It's obvious you put a lot of love into designing it.

    I'm popping over from BOSSY looking for the meet-up info for the SF stop. Can you help a girl out?

    My email is Jerdre53 at aol dot com. Thank you!

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  13. I wish things were different for you.

    (((hug)))

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  14. I would have been hanging on to the door casing,refusing to leave.

    My heart goes out to you!

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  15. Personally, I can't even bare to drive down my old street and see how the new owners are treating my first home. It really makes me sad and a little angry. I guess it is theirs now, but still, they are supposed to love that home as much as I did.

    Sigh.

    www.screweduptexan.com

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Brilliant observations: