2008-06-23

David Mamet, David Schmamet.

FADE IN:

INT. CHRISTINE'S HOUSE DAY

Christine has a few posts in draft (that will likely never be seen) about the weekend. They are all brilliant and erudite. Really, stuff David Mamet would drool over.

But, right now, she wants to dig deep into her mommyblogger self and talk about what really matters to her at this point in time.

Today, she went to Target. As she made her way to to the kiddie clothes section, she saw an Isaac Mizrahi top that was pretty ding-dang cute!


CHRISTINE
(to self)

Where the hell is that toy dep...

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE
(to self)

Dang that top is cute!

CHRISTINE
(to self)

No, not here to buy clothes for me.

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE
(to self...you get it now)

A *quick* zip into the fitting room won't hurt anyone!
Christine grabs her normal size, slips into the fitting
room.

INT. FITTING ROOM WITH HARSH FLORESCENT LIGHTING DAY


CHRISTINE
(looking in the mirror...still to self)

Uhhh, no!

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE

I could deal with going from S to M. But this, this is *too much*...

CHRISTINE

Yes, this is insane. This must be dealt with. This cannot go on, cannot be allowed to continue.
This...

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE

Oh, and you think this time is going to be any different than the last dozen times you've tried to deal with the weight gain?

CHRISTINE

"Different"? Yes. This time will be 'different'!

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE

(doubtful)

Oh, really?
Why?

CHRISTINE

This time BlogHer is less than a month away. I can't have this fat face all over the interwebs...

CHRISTINE INTERRUPTING CHRISTINE
Sssshhh...you know better than to indulge in that negative speak. You're beautiful just the way you are!


Christine struggles as she pulls on her own sweatpants.

10 comments:

  1. Hee hee, did you ever make it to the toy department?

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  2. Target closes - always way undersized. Izaiah (or whatever his first name is) does NOT believe in vanity sizing, the a-hole.

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  3. I always vow it will be different. And it is. Different forms of suffering which in turn turns into different exciting ways to fold and binge. lol

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  4. hehe - i have so been there - usually with a screaming toddler in the cart. I like to tell myself target sizes for tweens and teenagers only - forget having a kid and then trying on their clothes.

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  5. All this talk of BlogHer making me jealous. I was debating going (it's just in SF) - plus, we missed meeting when Bossy was in town, so maybe I'll go just for drinks. Could we carpool?

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  6. Oh, I’m so there with you. I’ve been going for a brisk walk after supper every night. That always seems to help shed those extra few pounds that creep up on you when you’re not paying attention.

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  7. I can't feel too sorry for you because even at my very thinnest, I'm an L.

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  8. As do I, often. This was a riot.

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  9. That was great! I talk to myself too.

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Brilliant observations: