The other day my twenty-one year old (FBNOML) was enjoying some quality time with my nearly five year-old; they had out my childhood set of plastic horses. I couldn't resist joining them for a couple of minutes, even though my younger one kept asking me if she could have her sister to herself.
I agreed to leave, but not until I showed them the very specific ways I would arrange them when I played with them.
"See," I said. "The Mommy horse goes like this, and the foal is nursing. This one is from a different set, but I always pretended he was the Daddy and I'd kinda curl his head around the Mommy's, because they love each other."
"And this white one rearing up, this one is the playful big brother. I'd always set him here. This other one is the uncle who visits sometimes, his saddle is broken but that's okay. The galloping Appaloosa, he'd be the neighbor."
When I was done, I gazed at my display, remembering how much I loved playing with them as a child. I was never one to play with dolls, but these horses were my babies. At one point I had a beautiful white stable with green trim...the stall doors opened, and the roof came off for a bird's eye view. When it broke during a move I was devastated.
My little girl snapped me out of my reminiscing when she grabbed one of them and announced, "I don't want him to be the uncle. He's a sister."
She continued, "When Emma is here and we are playing with the horses and we want to make the boy horses be girl horses, we just pretend that their penises are poop."
Really, what do you say to that? Moreover, how can you say anything when you are failing miserably at not laughing hysterically?
So I managed a, "Oh, that's very inventive of you two!"
All the while I was thinking, The horses are anatomically correct?
I was also thinking, Man, I wish I would have heard that conversation as the two little girls muddled through the conundrum of just how to explain that little plastic bump on the underside of the boy horses.
Another part was questioning, If you're going to pretend, why don't you just pretend the horse "penis" isn't there?
And yet another part was marveling, How awesome that you two use the word "penis" without hesitation!
But mostly I was wondering, Aren't you afraid the pretend poop is going to fall off?