It ain't just a river in Egypt, or I don't need no stinking fan

You know what I'm in right now?

A big old heap of denial.

We are moving a week from tomorrow and I haven't packed a box in days. Oh, sure, right after BlogHer I went nuts for a few days and collected boxes, filled and labeled them. It felt great! I was ahead of the game!

Since then...nada. Been taking the kids to pools (because, you know, I need to get geared up to living in a home with OUR OWN POOL), reading, not writing much here, scouting for contributors for Blissfully Domestic's relaunch, tweeting, sleeping in late (LOVE it when my husband works from home), weaning from Zoloft (as if that's an activity that takes up actual time), using my elliptical which may or many not* spontaneously combust, looking for my keys (nothing new there), and just generally finding anything super important to do other than pack up this household.

*Okay, I need to explain this one.

I love my elliptical. Love it. If it weren't for that fine piece of machinery, I'd probably have gained far more than 30-some pounds while on Zoloft.

The thing is, my daughter (who is four)(oh, sorry, her voice in my head makes me tell you that she is four and a half) likes to be right next to me allofthetime. Which means, while I am working out, she wants to be on the elliptical with me. So, we've struck a deal. She can stand in front of me while I pedal as I am warming up and cooling down (ssshhhh...don't tell her that really I only let her be on there for a minute each time as I really slowly pedal and pretend to exercise). I explain to her that it just isn't safe for her to be with me while I am going fast.

Really, I think she has tricked me. The thing she likes most about being with me on the elliptical is toying with the fan feature on the console. She plays with the little lever and angles it towards her face. "Ahhhh...that feels goooooood, " she says.

So I indulge her, then boot her off the machine. She plays happily with her dollhouse nearby while I start my real calorie-burning mode.

Yesterday, however, something went amiss. When I started sweating glowing I smelled a freaky burning smell emanating from the li'l fan bit on the console.

"Do you smell that?" I asked my daughter.

"Smell what?" she responded.

And then the smell was gone. I chalked it up to my imagination.

After my workout was done, I turned off the fan.

It didn't turn off.

I hit the button a bunch of times, but to no avail. The machine's fan had taken on a life of it's own. It refused to submit. It wasn't going down for anyone!

Finally I pulled out the big guns and unplugged the elliptical itself. I sure showed that console fan who was boss!

After a series of phone calls and tech support stuff and warranty investigation, two things were revealed:

1. The machine is no longer under warranty.
2. The machine needs a new console, which will cost $427.36. Before labor.

So what I'm going to do is remove the cover to the console and disconnect the fan. Ha! Take that console manufacturers!

(Told you I can waste time. Do you have any idea how many boxes I could have packed in the time it took me to write this post about nothing?)

Calling all writers...

As some of you are aware, I am a contributer over at Blissfully Domestic (can you hear my husband snorting out his coffee through his nose in the background? Domestic is not one word he'd ever use to describe me. Whatever.)

You might also be aware that the evil geniuses behind Blissfully Domestic (Mrs. Fussypants and Karla from Looking Towards Heaven) are planning a major relaunch. Since I'm fancy No Watch Me Christine, I will be the Healthy Living Channel Editor. Yeah, that's right. I'm going to be an Editor. I am mad with POWER!

Thus far, our Healthy Living Channel Topics are: Fitness, Nutrition, Parenting a Child With Special Needs, Medicine in the News, and Healthy Home. I'm knocking around some other possibilities as well (again, that POWER thing).

I'm looking for contributers...if you're interested in writing for The Magazine That Will Be Dominating the Interwebs (POWER!!!) in one of those categories, email me!

Honestly, I'm very excited about this. I hope to hear from YOU!

I've been so busy...

...I feel like I'm reliving NaBloPoMo. Except that the things that are keeping me so cRaZy busy are totally NOT related to blogging. I've been so absent from blogging that my mom started to get worried.

I think I've mentioned that I chaired my daughter's preschool auction...it was last week (the week before? after?). A crap load of work but SO fulfilling and exciting. And successful (yippee!).

I'm pretty sure I also mentioned that I've been doing some home staging. Super exciting...and I get PAID for it. Quite well in fact. DUDE (that's so funny, I just misspelled Dude as Duce, now I get it), don't tell anyone but I'd do it for free! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I know I've also mentioned my new gig at Domestic Divas. Now, I don't claim to be domestic nor a diva, yet I'm cocky enough to take on the challenge. I am their Health Editor (note the CAPS...who's fancy? I'm fancy!). Wanna go check out my first two efforts?

*Channeling my inner Chuck Norris*Why are you hesitating? Go read it!

Happy birthday to my brother (and other super important things I've neglected recently)!!!

I have been so out of it it's not even funny. Saturday was a HUGE day for me; I chaired the fundraising auction at my daughter's preschool. Five years ago I wouldn't have known what that meant, but ever since my son started school I've been intimately involved in them, and even chaired one two years ago.

I worked fifteen-plus hours straight on the event Saturday. Twelve hours the three days prior, and it the time commitment dwindles backwards from there (all the way back to when I took on the gig back in August).

Eggs. Ahhh. Sting!

It was a resounding success, and we made tens of thousands for our little cooperative school. I need tens of thousands of hours of sleep to make up for the deficit I've created...and me loves me my sleep.

There are also more irons in the fire for me...I've been doing some home staging for Realtor friends who need a boost in this buyer's market. I'll tell you more about that later, but for now I'll just say that I can't believe people pay me to go into their homes and decorate (I'd do it for free...shhhhhhhhh!).

And (I do know you aren't supposed to start a sentence with "And"...I am so rebellious) there is this exciting new venture:



Who's Fancy? I'm Fancy! I'm an *ahem* Editor (note capitalization); I'll be writing about health and related issues. Might as well make use of that neglected medical degree! It's a great site, and there are other bloggy names that you already know (and if you don't, you're in for a treat) contributing. Come join us! It's a great community.

For now, sleep calls.

But first...Happy Birthday, Bro'. I love you tons! You are The Great.