Looking Westward

Shot with my Hipstamatic for iPhone
Lens: Tejas
Flash: Off
Film: Blanko

On Drop-kicking the Drop-Leaf

Today I sold something.

A lovely piece of furniture, one I thought fit so perfectly in my home it was meant to be. A gorgeous drop-leaf desk with a glass-fronted hutch, it was once the perfect transition between our kitchen cabinets and the built-ins in the family room. It fit the otherwise unused area between the two rooms: now the area wasn't just a pass-through, it anchored and tied together both rooms. I knew it was destined to become a hub; the place where bills were paid, letters were written, photo albums created. Finding that piece of furniture and settling it into our house felt like one more piece of the puzzle...everything was fitting together perfectly. It felt like a sign that my life was on the right trajectory.

That's how things were then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We sold that house, somewhat upside down, a few years ago.

One of the things I miss most about the house we sold is the door jam in our kitchen pantry. It held the notches that noted how our children were growing. My daughter, with whom I found out I was pregnant on the first morning I woke up in the house, was gingerly propped up against it when she was barely able to stand; we laughed as we marked her "starting point." She practiced some of her Sharpie first writing skills on that door jam. My son's preschool years were noted there...and most of the way through his elementary school. Even my husband and I marked our heights there, laughing at how someday we'd watch those lines go lower as age took its toll on us.

Wasn't meant to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We carried this piece of furniture with us from rental to rental. It remained a hub for us. The place of homework, the place of nursing while typing one-handed, the place of discovering then abandoning then rediscovering then abandoning again (ad nauseum) Twitter, the place where my daughter learned to write her letters...and to scratch them into the desk (most notable, "Hi Mom").

But the thing is, moving that desk is a pain. Gone are the days when the purchase of a large item of furniture was not only financially easy, but also without thought to the future other than, "Oh, it'll be nice to live with this forever." Now we have to think, "Gah. Do we want to move THAT again?"

No, we don't. It's one more thing we're leaving in our wake. Bye-bye house, bye-bye door jam, bye-bye desk.

There is no trajectory. There are only decisions and consequences. And the simple fact is, sometimes things just don't go the way you thought they would.

So we shall see. The thing about not having a trajectory is that as much as it can SUCK sometimes, there is a little bit of excitement in the unknown. Maybe just around the corner there will be a pot of gold and unicorns and all manner of things wonderful.

Trajectories don't have corners.

Twelve Days of Technology

On the first day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me
Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV.

On the second day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV.

On the third day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me 

Three Geek Squad visits,

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV.

On the fourth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the fifth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Five viral videos, 

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits,

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the sixth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me

Six CD's queued up,

Five viral videos, 

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing,

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the seventh day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up, 

Five viral videos,

Four photos printing,

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the eighth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Eight gift cards emailed, 

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up,

Five viral videos,

Four photos printing,

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the ninth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me

Nine shows DVR'd, 

Eight gift cards emailed,

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up,

Five viral videos, 

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the tenth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Ten friends a-poking,

Nine shows DVR'd, 

Eight gift cards emailed, 

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up, 

Five viral videos, 

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing, 

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me

Eleven RSVP'ers texting, 

Ten friends a-poking,

Nine shows DVR'd, 

Eight gift cards emailed, 

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up,

Five viral videos,

Four photos printing, 

Three Geek Squad visits,

Two laptops glowing,

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, 

my true love sent to me 

Twelve Skype rooms pinging, 

Eleven RSVP'ers texting,

Ten friends a-poking,

Nine shows DVR'd,

Eight gift cards emailed, 

Seven remotes controlling, 

Six CD's queued up, 

Five viral videos, 

Four photos printing,

Three Geek Squad visits, 

Two laptops glowing,

And Netgear bringing WiDi to my TV!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This ode to technology was inspired by the sparkling, amazing, unbelievable giveaway over at Blissfully Domestic. They have partnered with Intel for this full digital makeover valued at $1600.00, and it would be a Christmas dream come true to win it.

Forever Smiling

“Well, you’re lucky. Your son is so easy. Not like MY kid...”

I hear that often, and you know what? It’s true. I am lucky. I know that. My kids are smart, sweet, kind...best of all, they love each other. They love our pets. They love their schools and their hometown and their family and pizza. They are happy.

I’m lucky.

But.

But.

Lurking underneath that knowledge of my good fortune in the children department is this constant nagging, a branch scraping against the window of my contentment reminding me with its every tap that things used to be better. Back when money wasn’t a source of concern, when providing a secure, full life for our children wasn’t ever uncertain.

We were never wealthy, but we were comfortable. Things like piano lessons and shiny new supplies every school year were a given...as was covering the mortgage and car payments.

But the economy had other plans for us. We’ve sold the family home we thought our grandchildren would come to visit us in, are down to one car, and still struggle to make ends meet. Things that once we would have spent money on without a second thought have become luxuries that are now far, far down the priority list...for example, orthodontia for my twelve-year old son.

His teeth are fighting to find a place to settle; they are crooked, overlapped and creating havoc with his bite. Fortunately, my boy still smiles his gorgeous smile readily, laughs unabashedly, and isn’t really particularly concerned with the present state of his smile. Yet.

But I see his friends hide their smiles behind their hands, or stifle their smiles altogether...embarrassed by their crooked teeth. Or their braces. My heart breaks at the idea of my son suppressing his enthusiasm out of self-consciousness.

A couple of years ago, I became aware of the Invisalign Teen products. As the Health Editor at Blissfully Domestic, I had the opportunity to attend an Invisalign informational event being held in San Francisco (just a quick train ride from my little 'burb). Honestly, going in, I was totally skeptical. I imagined big, clunky retainer-like devices interfering with speech and giving the teeth a yellowish hue. After learning about the product, however, I found out not only was I entirely wrong, but that it was without a doubt the best course of treatment for my son.

The trays are virtually undetectable (I’ve literally had conversations with people wearing the trays and I had NO idea they were on), so that’s an obvious aesthetic bonus. I also love that the trays are removed for meals...no dietary restrictions, no excuses to not eat that apple.

Even MORE important, in my opinion, is that the trays are also removed while brushing and flossing. I had braces for four years, and it’s the one time in my life I accumulated fillings; it’s nearly impossible to adequately maintain healthy dental hygiene when you’re maneuvering around wires and brackets with your floss.

Then there are the less obvious benefits...for example, my son plays football. He could take the trays out when he needs to wear his mouthguard; it would be much safer and more comfortable than braces. My son also plays bass guitar and sings back-up vocals in a band; for performances he could remove the trays, keeping his voice unhampered and his smile free of braces glinting in the spotlights.

But for the past couple of years and for the foreseeable future, being sold on Invisalign and its benefits is simply moot. It’s not in the budget.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m lucky, I know that.

But as we struggle to maintain normalcy for our family in light of our financial woes, the list of things we can’t provide for our children has grown over the years. We’ve exchanged a family home for a series of rental houses. We don’t vacation, buy new clothes at the beginning of a school year, or go out to eat. Maybe someday (No. Definitely someday.), but not now.

Why am I writing about this? I became aware of a contest; it’s an opportunity to win a smile courtesy of Invisalign. Thus this post is both a confession and a contest entry.

I’d love to give my son the gift of forever smiling...without interruption, without inhibition.

Lean into the curve

"Lean into the curve," she reminded me.

I was the tender age of twenty, and my twenty-two year-old roommate was schooling me on how to be safe passenger on a motorcycle. We were waiting for our dates to arrive, and I took her advice seriously.

When in a big turn that tilts the bike, you'll instinctively to want to counterbalance that by leaning towards the other side. Don't do it, just go with it. Lean into the curve.

It's scary, but here's how you do it. Grab him around the waist, and melt forward into him. Just watch over his shoulder. You can switch shoulders, but only on the straightaways. You can look left and right, but only your neck should move independently of his torso. The rest of your body should to follow his movements. When the bike turns, his body will tilt with the bike. You do the same. ALWAYS.

When the boys picked us up and I climbed onto the motorcycle, I was nervous. As we roared away from the curb, I looked to my friend. She looked confident and secure, and her words echoed in my head.

We made our way through some of the suburbs south of LA, and I spent much of my ride leaning into my driver, with my eyes shut. I was scared. Eventually I caught a whiff of the Pacific Ocean and with that I realized where we were. The sudden scent of the ocean combined with the the tilt in the road told me what I needed to know; my eyes were not needed in this situation. I took this route routinely for work and for play, and I recognized not only the scent of the ocean, but also the curve of the road we were on.

I inhaled.

I leaned.

I opened my eyes.

Everything was coming at me so fast...and yet, as I was in the cocoon that was my helmet, everything was peaceful. Sights, smells, the woosh of sounds...all blurred together as we cruised down the highway. I stopped being afraid. I just experienced the ride.

As the road wound its way to the coast, I heard my friend's words in my ears and I leaned into those turns.

As a bike tilts towards the ground while taking a turn, you'll be temped to do what you should do on a boat, which is shift your weight in the other direction. You have to fight that intuitive action and just trust physics to do its thing. You lean into the curve. It's what's right, even if it feels wrong.

Bunnies don't wear glasses

My daughter was just eating carrots. Without being asked or prompted or begged or bribed. Her sixth birthday was last week and it's as if some switch was flipped; she's proud of being a Big Kid, and she voluntarily seeks out situations where she can demonstrate her new Big Kidness.

She knew I'd be thrilled and so she skipped over so I could watch watch her chomp down happily.

"Look, Mom!" Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.

I told her how happy I was, because carrots are so good for you.

"They are good for your skin! And your hair! And your eyes!" I blathered on.

She nodded.

I decided to dial it down a notch, so I said, "I mean, bunnies like carrots, right?"

She nodded again.

"And have you ever seen a bunny with glasses?"

She shook her head, crunching on her carrot.

"So, carrots MUST be good for your eyes, right?"

She nodded and bounced away.

Oh, my. She nodded. And bounced away.

She usually catches me when I try to pull a fast one over on her like that. I thought she'd roll her eyes and say, "Mooooooooooooooom! That's silly!"

But she didn't. She nodded.

And bounced away.

Someday, not tonight, but someday, it will be the last time she buys my goofiness. I won't know it at the time...but it will happen.

I'm glad it wasn't tonight.

Schwarzenegger's Assembly Bill Veto, complete with super secret hidden message!

Frankly, I don't know a lot about Assembly Bill 1176, whether it was a good idea or not, etc. I do know it was sponsored by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano and that he and Schwarzenegger have a rather contentious relationship.

Check out Schwartzenegger's written veto (emphasis mine):

To the Members of the California State Assembly:

I am returning Assembly Bill 1176 without my signature.

For some time now I have lamented the fact that major issues are overlooked while many
unnecessary bills come to me for consideration. Water reform, prison reform, and health
care are major issues my Administration has brought to the table, but the Legislature just
kicks the can down the alley.

Yet another legislative year has come and gone without the major reforms Californians
overwhelmingly deserve. In light of this, and after careful consideration, I believe it is
unnecessary to sign this measure at this time.

Sincerely,

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ask my husband...I have the sense of humor of a thirteen year old boy. Soooooo...I freaking LOVE this.