Schwarzenegger's Assembly Bill Veto, complete with super secret hidden message!

Frankly, I don't know a lot about Assembly Bill 1176, whether it was a good idea or not, etc. I do know it was sponsored by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano and that he and Schwarzenegger have a rather contentious relationship.

Check out Schwartzenegger's written veto (emphasis mine):

To the Members of the California State Assembly:

I am returning Assembly Bill 1176 without my signature.
For some time now I have lamented the fact that major issues are overlooked while manyunnecessary bills come to me for consideration. Water reform, prison reform, and healthcare are major issues my Administration has brought to the table, but the Legislature justkicks the can down the alley.
Yet another legislative year has come and gone without the major reforms Californiansoverwhelmingly deserve. In light of this, and after careful consideration, I believe it isunnecessary to sign this measure at this time.

Sincerely,

Arnold Schwarzenegger

WTF Blanket

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Breakfast. It's not for breakfast anymore.

I am having a very hard time with breakfast these days.

First off, I pretty much hate sweet foods (before you start chucking things at your monitor, rest assured...I more than make up for the calorie deficit that occurs because I can easily pass up a chocolate mousse by eating FAR more than my fair share of pizza).

For whatever reason, breakfast foods seem to be loaded with sweetness. From cereals to pancakes to french toast to...well, you get it.

Ah! But Christine! How about the savory delights of quiche? And toast dripping with butter? Or a bagel slathered in cream cheese?

Sigh, yes. That is what I prefer for breaking my fast in the morning after a cup or three of java (the first of which my husband brings to me while I am still in bed)(~ducking again~).

Sadly, I have gone wheat-free.

But why, Christine? Why? Are you un-American? Are you against those golden waves of grain?

Wow. That's stretching it a bit. Let's get back on topic, 'kay? My eliminating wheat stems from an odd confluence of events, and quite honestly it's not a very interesting story. Suffice it to say that I realized that it might be a good idea to eliminate wheat.

I tried it.

It was good.

So while this not eating wheat is making all meals tough, breakfast is the hardest hit. I feel like I'm on a no-carb diet every morning...my go-to meal is a scrambled egg conglomeration of whatever we have on hand. It usually consists of eggs (derrrr), cheese, and perhaps spinach or red bell peppers. Deeeelish!

But not so delish day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after FREAKING day...

The other snag is that I am super lazy in the mornings. I have never woken up fast, nor easily (see above, how hubby has to bribe me to wake up with coffee delivered bedside). What this means is, if my husband isn't making me some egg concoction, in all likelihood I'll just scrape together something, like rye crackers and cream cheese. Or a pre-hardboiled egg. Or a handful of lunch meat (EWWW!).

So, I beg you...help me. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can eat for breakfast? Something savory, not sweet. Easy to prepare in advance that is also wheat free?

If you are a lurker and have an idea, please de-lurke. I need some serious help here in the Non-Sweet, Non-Wheat Recipes for Breakfast Department.

Moonvertising, Cutest Puppy Ever Style

It's a full moon this evening. I plan on using that to my full advantage.

After all, Rolling Rock is doing so by shooting a laser beam featuring their logo onto the moon's surface this evening. Check it!



Moonvertising just makes sense:



And:



And of course, there's this:



Still not convinced? Watch the moon this evening and get back to me tomorrow.

So, here is my plan...I am going to sneak into the Rolling Rock Laser Headquarters this evening and switch out the laser image:



Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sorry...couldn't help but share this

1.) Start with a google search.

2.) Type in "french military victories", but without the
quote marks.

3.) Instead of hitting "Search," hit "I'm feeling
Lucky."

4.) Have a good laugh at the expense of an entire nation...hey, they eat rich foods and stay slim, they deserve the occasional smack-down.

5.) Tell your friends before the people at Google fix it.

Drivel

Ten interesting things that happened to me at the grocery store yesterday, in no particular order:

1.) The check-out guy teased me for for buying a rag mag and pretended he was going to announce it over the store-wide intercom.

2.) In the parking lot, I saw a girl talking on one of those old cell phones with a curly cord that plugs into the lighter.

3.) I ran into an old neighbor who tried not to look sympathetic about the fact that we sold the dream home we built five years ago and are now renting. I didn't ask if they've met the new owners.

4.) I put Maybelline Great Lash in my cart, and then later put it back on it's hook. I figured I could pay less for it at the adjacent drugstore. I was right.

5.) I found out that Angelina and Brad were making out in a car.

6.) I ran into a Mary Kay rep who's been after me for over five years to let her do a facial for me. She didn't ask this time; I wondered why as I walked away. WHY NOT THIS TIME??? But don't get me wrong, I was relieved to not have to pretend I was interested.

7.) I hummed along to Private Eyes by Hall & Oats.

8.) My arm got sprayed by those unpredictable misters as I reached for some Romaine lettuce.

9.) I saw a sweet elderly couple debating cereal products. They made me happy.

10.) I forgot to buy toilet paper.

Newman!!!

Look, I love Seinfeld, and I hated it when that Newman guy messed things up for Jerry.

But, the thing is...now, he's after ME. The lovely Mrs. Fussypants, in an homage to the beloved Jerry Seinfeld, posted about how much we all adore Jerry and how her hysterical blog is all about what makes us laugh.

Yet Newman just couldn't leave it alone. He had to grab the glory...but I shall snatch it back from him.

Geeze, like we couldn't tell he TOTALLY Photoshopped his head behind my BabyFace? Come on! How insulting.



Newman!

On beer and knee socks

My fellow Cal blogger Shannon at Zokai tagged me for a seven things meme. As I've had a bit of writer's block since I moved, I'm happy for the fodder!

Here you go, seven amazingly interesting things about MOI:

1.) After studying French for over eight years, I was thrilled to be in France actually testing my skills. I had no problems all over the country, and even spoke French in other countries to get around, but one evening my friend and I stopped into a little out of the way pub for a beer. I bellied up and ordered; the ornery bartender responded by exclaiming in French, "What? We have no tickets here! Why come to a bar for a ticket?" The French for beer is bière, which isn't dissimilar sounding to the French for ticket, billet. The guy was just being a jerk; my accent was fine. No matter how much I begged for mercy he kept waving his white towel at me, pretending to be perplexed. Eventually some of the other older gentlemen at the bar said, "C'mon Pierre (yup, Pierre), stop it. Give her a beer." He stopped his act and way overcharged us.

2.) I lived with a few other guys before I met my husband (with whom I did not live before we married) ...the exact number depends upon how you define "lived with."

3.) As a follow up...every single guy I dated seriously was left-handed and played the guitar. Weird.

4.) I don't like talking on the phone.

5.) I get a stomach ache when I'm tired.

6.) I have many memories of being in preschool wanting desperately to be a "big girl" and go to kindergarten. I would watch the kids walking past my home on their way to school and I just couldn't wait to be one of them. I especially thought the girls were super cool when the pulled up their knee socks. When I was finally in kingergarten, I often made a big deal about stopping and pulling up my knee socks. I felt so proud and grown-up.


7.) When I was working on my second bachelors, I waited at a bar that served 32 ounce beers in huge glass mugs. I used to be able to carry five of these in each hand; it became a thing for people to get their picture taken with me. The St. Pauli girl only has SIX, the wuss.

Consider yourself tagged!

Just so I can be an A-hole and post three times on the last day of NaBloPoMo

Courtesy of Mrs. Fussypants.

Apparently Spirit Airlines thinks I'm a MILF

I got an email from them with the subject line:

Spirit Airlines - MILF Sale - Fares From $9* Each Way

I'm thinking, hmmmmm...! Are they selling MILF's? Because that would be illegal. So, no, they must be giving discounts to MILF's! Then I'm thinking, hmmmmm...are they sending me this because they think I'm a MILF? Sweet!

But, sadly, 'twas not the case. Here is what the body of the email included.

My laptop isn't loving me right now...

...I've been working her hard today and she is protesting. I'm hoping it's worth it (I'll let you know tomorrow), but in case she won't let me post later, here's a glimpse at what I've been working on (because I need an excuse to ignore the mountains of boxes around me).

Just got this email from Margaret Ferguson

After a day at the Bay Area Discovery Museum in Sausalito (one and a half hours to drive there, two and a half to get home...grrrrrrrrr), I came home to this amazing email...and gee willikers, too late for us to not have to sell the house on which we just closed escrow! I just HAD to share the good news with you all; I know you won't use my batch number, ticket number, serial number, lucky numbers, or reference number because I have NO DOUBT you're just as thrilled for me as I am! Clearly by the numerous typos in her email, Margaret Ferguson is beyond excited for me, too!


CONTACT YOUR ASSIGNED CLAIMS AGENT

NOTICE...CONGRATULATIONS
Lucky Winner 2007 ,

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT
POWERBALL EURO E-MAIL INTERNATIONAL
PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPT
BATCH NO: PBL/67189098011/245679/1109
REF. NO: PBL/11278998789/908796//1109

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you of the release of the EMAIL
LOTTERY BALLOT INTERNATIONAL/WORLD
GAMING BOARD. Your e-mail attached to ticket
number 219028657434 with Serial number
918735625 drew the lucky numbersof 21-70-81-
82-99 which consequently won the lottery in the
1st category.

You have just won yourself the sum of
ONEMILLION EUROS in the satellite software
email lottery conducted by POWERBALL EURO E-
MAIL INTERNATIONAL
In which e-mail addresses are picked randomly
by software powered by the Internet. Your email
address was amongst those chosen in this
quarter and you are to contact our CLAIMS
OFFICER for Clearance.

CONTACT NAME: PETER RAYMUND
CITY/ COUNTRY: LONDON, ENGLAND.
TELEPHONE: + 447031957971
EMAIL:powerballagent_2007@yahoo.com

Sincerely,
Margaret Ferguson

Material Copyright © 2007 The Lottery Co. Ltd.

Look, now that I'm rich, I'm not going to forget you all. I'm not going to be one of those lottery winners who hoard their cashola. I'll share. Like, if my mom needs grocery money, I'll totally front her a loan. If a friend and I are out to dinner I might not make sure that I order more expensive food and then offer to "split the bill in half." I might even toss some leftovers or a recyclable can to a homeless person from my car as I drive by (they like that).

Anywho, I always knew our ship would come in.

Floating cat head

I cannot remember whose blog had this, and I NEED to see it again and show it to my husband...the video of a floating cat head that shoots lasers out of it's eyes and "starts" a fire. Flipping hysterical.

Thank you in advance,
The Management

UPDATE: It was at Mrs. Kennedy's. Thanks Alli!!! You've gotta click on it...pure genius.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks like this

My husband just came home from work; after a smooch he asked me, "What's up?"

"Apparently Larry Craig's palm," I answer.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

Happy Happy Joy Joy

All in all, I'm probably more content now than I've ever been. My life isn't perfect...well, actually, the ONLY thing I would change is our financial state. Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing about my present circumstances.

And according to this UK study, I'm right on target. But my poor husband...it seems he's smack dab in the middle of an early mid-life crisis. We didn't realize that, but thankfully these researchers have set us straight. What a relief! I also learned that, "People's employment status also had an effect on their well-being." Who knew! Money well spent, researchers!

It reminds me of this study of a couple of weeks back. Because who knew that most people have sex because it feels good?

Sorry, dooce

I have arrived.

What you would probably hear if you spent 24 hours in my home

"Have you lint-rolled the finger puppets?"

"NO HORSES on the trampoline!"

" 'Out of Area'...eat malaria."

"Hola! I'm Dora! Do you know my family and friends?"

"What do you want to do for dinner? I dunno, what do you want to do? I don't care. I don't either." (yes, ONE person generally recites in its entirety every evening)

"Does this help you poop, Mama?"

"What happened to the cat yack?"

"The dog ate it."

"Freak."

"Insert Simpsons/Family Guy/Greg the Bunny reference here."

"Watch me! No, watch me!"

* WARNING * THIS IS NOT A SPOILER *

My prediction for the Harry Potter series ending:

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny are sitting at Hogwart's Main Dining Hall eating a meal. People and ghosts and whatnot are coming and going around them, in and out of the room, passing through walls, etc. The four are discussing random things; just another day at Hogwarts.

But you KNOW something is coming; it's the end of the last chapter. Will Harry live or die? You turn the page and...

it's blank.

Was it a printing error? No, just a lame-ass ending. Or a brilliant ending. Whatever.