Cackle, cackle, cackle...oh, snap! Obama burns Hillary.

By FAR the most exciting bit of the debate...or perhaps the only exciting bit. Nevertheless, I was dancing a jig when Obama pulled that one out. Hillary's new fake laugh she's been sporting is downright creeeeeeeeeepy.

Just got this email from Margaret Ferguson

After a day at the Bay Area Discovery Museum in Sausalito (one and a half hours to drive there, two and a half to get home...grrrrrrrrr), I came home to this amazing email...and gee willikers, too late for us to not have to sell the house on which we just closed escrow! I just HAD to share the good news with you all; I know you won't use my batch number, ticket number, serial number, lucky numbers, or reference number because I have NO DOUBT you're just as thrilled for me as I am! Clearly by the numerous typos in her email, Margaret Ferguson is beyond excited for me, too!


CONTACT YOUR ASSIGNED CLAIMS AGENT

NOTICE...CONGRATULATIONS
Lucky Winner 2007 ,

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT
POWERBALL EURO E-MAIL INTERNATIONAL
PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPT
BATCH NO: PBL/67189098011/245679/1109
REF. NO: PBL/11278998789/908796//1109

Dear Winner,

This is to inform you of the release of the EMAIL
LOTTERY BALLOT INTERNATIONAL/WORLD
GAMING BOARD. Your e-mail attached to ticket
number 219028657434 with Serial number
918735625 drew the lucky numbersof 21-70-81-
82-99 which consequently won the lottery in the
1st category.

You have just won yourself the sum of
ONEMILLION EUROS in the satellite software
email lottery conducted by POWERBALL EURO E-
MAIL INTERNATIONAL
In which e-mail addresses are picked randomly
by software powered by the Internet. Your email
address was amongst those chosen in this
quarter and you are to contact our CLAIMS
OFFICER for Clearance.

CONTACT NAME: PETER RAYMUND
CITY/ COUNTRY: LONDON, ENGLAND.
TELEPHONE: + 447031957971
EMAIL:powerballagent_2007@yahoo.com

Sincerely,
Margaret Ferguson

Material Copyright © 2007 The Lottery Co. Ltd.

Look, now that I'm rich, I'm not going to forget you all. I'm not going to be one of those lottery winners who hoard their cashola. I'll share. Like, if my mom needs grocery money, I'll totally front her a loan. If a friend and I are out to dinner I might not make sure that I order more expensive food and then offer to "split the bill in half." I might even toss some leftovers or a recyclable can to a homeless person from my car as I drive by (they like that).

Anywho, I always knew our ship would come in.

Before Iggy, there was Socks...or, Politicians Suck

Many of my friends, Democratic and Republican alike, are planning on voting for Hillary simply because she is a woman. A lot of them don't even like her...she's too far left, she's too far right, whatever. Personally, I'm not a fan of Hillary, for a variety of reasons, but most notably I just don't trust her.

Way back in the day, I voted for Bill Clinton. I was in my mid-twenties, I didn't have health insurance, and I was wooed by their Universal Health Care plan. As the details came out, however, I realized how deceptive she'd been in her presentation of the plan. In a nutshell, that plan made health insurance mandatory, just like car insurance is. NOT having health insurance would be a crime...the government would provide health insurance/care for you. BUT IT WASN'T free...it was, if I recall, $1,500 per person per year (at that time I had looked into purchasing insurance and it was about $1,000, so it's not like the gov's insurance was any type of a deal). If you were found to not have insurance the fed gov would assign one to you, fine you by charging you double the regular cost, and garnish your wages to pay for it. If that meant you lose you home, so be it (and yes, that was written specifically in the document that health insurance took precedence over mortgage payments).

When I was in medical school, my preceptor was a rural physician who often accepted as payment for his family practice services things such as quilts, haircuts, babysitting services, even chickens (this is in the mid 1990's, I'm not that old!). If Hillary's health care plan had passed, this physician and his patients would be felons. Why? Tax evasion. Punishment? Up to 5 years in jail and a $5,000 fine...for both doc and patient. Doesn't sound too kind to me. My opinion of the Clintons changed after researching that plan. I just don't trust them. Of course, the fact is that I just don't trust most politicians, either side of the aisle. Politicians suck.

And who can get rid of a kitty because the photo ops are over? The Clintons can. Poor Socks. Maybe this is bugging me because we're trying to find a home and our pets are quite the barrier.

(P.S: I'm waiting for them to release the details of Hillary's new plan to come out, but so far it sounds suspiciously similar.)

The (First*) Cable Guy

The other day we switched our phone lines so that we had cable, internet, and phone from one provider (plus it saves money! Yippee!). When the cable guy arrived I opened the front door and was greeted by a lovely plume of second hand smoke so strong I thought for a second he was squirreling a lit cigarette behind his back.

I let him in and lead him where the Ethernet fraternizes with the cable and phone and cap this and thats and say, "Have at it; I will be upstairs with my daughter. Call me if you need me."

Fifteen or so minutes later I hear, "Ma'am?"

Ugh, Ma'am'ed.

I scurry down to see what the matter is, and he proceeds to tell me how our house isn't correctly wired for the job. We'd need to rewire EACH individual phone jack, and he isn't allowed to do that. We'll have to hire an independent electrical company to come in...shouldn't run us more than a few hundred.

Our house is four years old, and we paid a ridiculous amount so that ANY wiring needs we might ever possibly, conceivably, potentially have in the future were already in place. So, I ask him to explain EXACTLY how it is that our house isn't up to snuff. My swell cable guy went on to explain how yadda this wire yadda that wire blah that blah not correct ahem.

What he was saying didn't make any sense to me, but then I not the most fluent in Wiring Speak. So I admitted that I just didn't know what he was talking about (my polite way of saying YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE).

He said, "Well, like I tell my daughter, you're beautiful so you don't need to be smart."

I can't tell you how incredibly relieved I felt to hear those words. What a burden lifted off my shoulders. I don't NEED to be smart. I am a female (which is what he meant by beautiful, believe me) and so I'm off the hook.

But wait! There's more!!! Later as he was leaving he felt the need to reiterate, "My wife always slaps me when I say this, but I am going to go ahead and say it anyway. If you're not smart, it's hard to understand."

Inwardly I just rolled my eyes. I didn't care what this guy thought of me and didn't feel the need to defend myself. He wasn't trying to be a jerk and in fact was trying in his ass-backward way to make me feel better about not understanding what he was saying. But my nearly nine year-old son was nearby; I didn't want to leave the impression that it was okay for people to talk to others that way. However, I *knew* the guy was just being folksy in the best way his one and a half standard deviations below average IQ would allow him.

So I just handled it the way I would have if my son hadn't been there. I smiled and nodded, thanked him, and showed him the door. Then I used it as a "teaching moment" (more rolling of internal eyes) and we discussed the difference between the words smart and ignorant, and the irony in the cable guy using the term incorrectly. We also talked about the whole sticks and stones vs. breaking bones theory and when to apply it, and a few other things as well.

I'm glad I didn't alter my behavior because I had my son as an audience. I've always trusted my instincts and they have generally served me well; parenthood isn't the time to stop. At least that is what my gut tells me.

*More irony: the cable guy totally messed up the wires when he as here. He managed to not only NOT install our new phone service, but to disconnect our old one. I discovered within thirty second of him leaving that were left without phone and internet (!!!) service. We managed to get the cable company to come back later that evening and the new cable guy had everything up and running in less than half an hour. Seems we didn't need to rewire EACH phone jack after all.

To the person driving the first car in the left turn lane queue

Like sitting in an exit row on a plane, you are charged with a RESPONSIBILITY. When that arrow turns green, you need to proceed through the intersection immediately. None of this not paying attention and wasting precious seconds. Those of us behind you are counting on you. Do you know how frustrating it is to SIT THERE, thinking if that moron had gone when the light first changed I'd have completed my turn by now. I'd better make this light, because if I don't the earth will spin off its axis? Why is it that you are all too often completely oblivious to that crucial shift from red to green? The rest of us behind you see it; one can tell by the waving arms and honking horns. But you, you are unawares.

Please be more vigilant and take your responsibility seriously. Road rage is real, and us mommas driving mini-vans are NOT TO BE MESSED WITH. One of these days I might just scoop some goldfish-cheerios-banana detritus from the floor and hurl it at you. Well, okay I won't. But I will bang on my steering wheel and hurl insults at you, much to the delight of my kids.

911 call

I worry for our future.