Some things a certain group of moms at my son's school like to do during pick-up

Make off-hand comments about being an 'advocate' for their child.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that the family who has the most meetings with the principal to complain about the teaching staff WINS.

Too much homework? Meeting with principal.

Not enough homework? Meeting with principal.

Don't like who your kid sits next to in science? Meeting with principal.

Feel their child doesn't get called on enough in class? Meeting with principal.

Their child got a C on a test? Clearly they weren't properly instructed on the material in class. Meeting with principal.


Bitch about the parents who run the school's fundraisers.

Mom One, "Can you believe how many fliers come home with our kids about *insert name of school's fundraiser here* asking for help? Enough already!"

Mom Two, "Yeah, no kidding. It's not like *insert name of fundraiser volunteer here* didn't have a huge article in the newsletter last month!"

Mom One,"Pffffft."

Mom Two,"Oh, look, there she is now."

Mom One, "Speak of the devil"

Mom Two, "Crap, she's heading over."

Volunteer Mom, "Hi! How are you two doing?"

Mom One, "Great! How's the *insert name of school's fundraiser here* going?

Volunteer Mom, "It's coming along. Will you be there? I think it will be fun!"

Mom One, "We're going to try." (read: No.)

Mom Two, "I think we're out of town that weekend." (read: Hell, no.)

Volunteer Mom, "Well, that's a drag. We're hoping to make enough money to *insert name of underfunded program*. I do hope to see you there. Gotta go!"

(pause until Volunteer Mom is out of earshot)

Mom One, "She never lets up."

Mom Two, "I know. She's so pushy. No way am I helping her with this fundraiser."

Mom One, "I'm boycotting the event, too. I'm sick of them asking so much of us at this school."

Mom Two, "No kidding!"

Mom One, "Especially when they keep making cuts. Did you hear that the entire district might eliminate the music program because the state is cutting funds? I'm so over this school."



Wear babydoll tee-shirts with sparkly designs on their boobs.

Just an observation. I have a couple myself. I don't wear them anymore, but I have them. Remind me to donate them, won't you?***


Greet their kids while talking on their cell phone.

I want to bitch slap them and yell, "Get off the phone, people! Give your kid a hug and focus on them! Ask them about how their day went and interact with them for a minute or two."

But I'm not 'advocating' for my child because I know he can handle the little things...so my words would fall on deaf ears.

M'kay.

***edited to ad: I actually do love some of my sparkly tees...it's just that I find I am choosing NOT to wear them at pick-up so as not to be associated with the Judgmental Moms. Maybe I need to start a campaign to Take Back the Sparkles.