I am a whore.

Lookie at me as a baby! As my old bio thing over there -----------> used to say when that picture was my avatar, I feel the same way today as I did when that picture was taken.

Anyway, if you click on the humongous image, you be redirected via the magick of the interwebs to my long-neglected CafePress shop. There you will find some of the photos you've seen here (or not) plastered on fun stuff like cards and mugs and even the occasional tee.

Check back there often (do I need to remind you who's boss?)(how many times can I bring that up and not be annoying? Oh, I've already crossed that bridge? Tough! Refer to last link) as I'll be adding stuff regularly. At least, that's my plan right now. I'll keep you posted (Get it? Posted? Because this is a blog post?).


In other news, my daughter is hooked on the notion of making me a Special Snack...she begs me to let her make on daily. Today's concoction was especially enticing. It composed of a salad, a drink, and a side of bread with cream cheese and butter. The drink was freshly squeezed orange juice (I cut the orange for her, she squeezed the orange halves...that was my only participation; otherwise I wasn't allowed to look), a handful of cheerios, and some carrot sticks. Yes, I sampled it.

Ahhhh...but the salad. That was the show stopper. My little sweetie knows I love spinach salads, so she started with that as the foundation. She threw in some cheerios, because who doesn't LOVE CHEERIOS, plus as she'd used that in my drink I'm sure she wanted to coordinate the flavors. Similarly, the salad had some orange juice and carrot sticks. Actually, now that I think of it, perhaps it was a stew? Or soup? Regardless, the dish also had some cream cheese, mustard, and apple slices left over from an earlier snack of hers. Delish (No, I only pretended to eat that)! I'm thinking I should send the recipe to Pioneer Woman so she can use it in one of her recipe posts. It's all about supporting my fellow bloggers.

P.S.: My daughter just took my drink and is adding ketchup to my drink, not that I peeked.


I've been so busy...

...I feel like I'm reliving NaBloPoMo. Except that the things that are keeping me so cRaZy busy are totally NOT related to blogging. I've been so absent from blogging that my mom started to get worried.

I think I've mentioned that I chaired my daughter's preschool auction...it was last week (the week before? after?). A crap load of work but SO fulfilling and exciting. And successful (yippee!).

I'm pretty sure I also mentioned that I've been doing some home staging. Super exciting...and I get PAID for it. Quite well in fact. DUDE (that's so funny, I just misspelled Dude as Duce, now I get it), don't tell anyone but I'd do it for free! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I know I've also mentioned my new gig at Domestic Divas. Now, I don't claim to be domestic nor a diva, yet I'm cocky enough to take on the challenge. I am their Health Editor (note the CAPS...who's fancy? I'm fancy!). Wanna go check out my first two efforts?

*Channeling my inner Chuck Norris*
Why are you hesitating? Go read it!


Jimmy Kimmel's F@cking Ben Affleck...Who Knew!!!

This link works:

Tit for tat...I'm always for the underdog (no pun intended).

Who would have thought Kimmel would come out on top (again, no pun intended).

Stand off: Weitzman vs. Cody

Dear Mr. Weitzman,

I will take your pretty diamond encrusted shoes. I think Diablo Cody is insane. Does she not know how comfy your shoes are? I do...and I have wide feet that don't usually feel good or look good in strappy heals. But I do in yours!

Plus, Stuart (can I call you Stuart?), let me assure you that I did catch her story change. At first she said she didn't realize that she would be the center of attention when she accepted your shoes, that it wasn't explained to her the degree to which she'd be highlighted. NOW she says you never even asked her. Totally different thing!

I'd like to be on the record and state that you may, at any time, give me shoes without specific consent. I guess that statement is itself specific consent, but I think you know what I'm trying to say. You know, I'm thinking that catering to bloggers is a FABulous idea as you could be the first high end shoe dude to endorse bloggers and thus throw you support our way. Unlike Target who dissed us.

I promise, I'll wear them to BlogHer.



Sorry...couldn't help but share this

1.) Start with a google search.

2.) Type in "french military victories", but without the
quote marks.

3.) Instead of hitting "Search," hit "I'm feeling

4.) Have a good laugh at the expense of an entire nation...hey, they eat rich foods and stay slim, they deserve the occasional smack-down.

5.) Tell your friends before the people at Google fix it.


MOST Delicious. Snack. Ever

A couple of hours ago I was trying to cook dinner (yes, husband...if you are reading this it's true! I am cooking dinner tonight!) and my four year-old daughter and her friend were playing around on a counter near me. I was only half paying attention to what they were saying, but I was catching snippets like, "Take out the banana; she's allergic to banana," and, "Don't look, Mommie. It's a surprise."

I was starting to get frustrated...I needed the counter space and my kitchen isn't nearly as spacious as my last, which sometimes irritates me irrationally. I was about to ask the girls to take it someplace else, when I thought to myself that I really ought to figure out what it was they were doing. So, being the cool mom I am, I eavesdropped and spied on them.

"More butter!"
"It's MY turn to stir!"
"Mom, don't look, it's a secret snack for you!"
"Where is the salt?"
"Mom, bring us the salt but don't look!"
"Put some candy in there."
"MY turn to stir now!"
"More grapes."
"More grapes."
"More grapes."
"Mommie, we need salt!"
"And un-yee-ons."

This went on for quite some time. I had to pretend I wasn't watching the creation. I faked not noticing the humongous (at least three tablespoons) fingerprint-laden pat of butter snuggled next to smooshed banana, some papery garlic skins, a lemon-skin punch biopsy, and shrapnel from lacerated grapefruit remnants.

While I watched, my memory whisked me back when I was in lower grade-school and would gather flower blossoms and crush them into a bowl filled with water. I would create a thick emulsion that I would then strain into an old ketchup bottle...and call it perfume. I remembered how proud I was of my "perfume," and how excited I was to present my mom with my offering. Her response was invariably enthusiastic; she would carefully tap my concoction behind her ears and on her wrists, and then sniff with what was clearly a discerning nose. Imagine my pride when my creations were greeted with approval!

Those memories flooded in, and I readjusted my perspective. I went from pretending I didn't know what was going on to full-on participation. Ignoring the dinner preparations for a mere five minutes or so, I indulged them. I even ate a butter-caked grape (gack)(I mean, Super Delish!). Once I was done with my performance, they were done with me and went on to dress the Cutest. Puppy. Ever. in clothes that no self-respecting Havanese should have to endure.

This Mommy learning-curve is...unpredictable.


Happy birthday to my brother (and other super important things I've neglected recently)!!!

I have been so out of it it's not even funny. Saturday was a HUGE day for me; I chaired the fundraising auction at my daughter's preschool. Five years ago I wouldn't have known what that meant, but ever since my son started school I've been intimately involved in them, and even chaired one two years ago.

I worked fifteen-plus hours straight on the event Saturday. Twelve hours the three days prior, and it the time commitment dwindles backwards from there (all the way back to when I took on the gig back in August).

Eggs. Ahhh. Sting!

It was a resounding success, and we made tens of thousands for our little cooperative school. I need tens of thousands of hours of sleep to make up for the deficit I've created...and me loves me my sleep.

There are also more irons in the fire for me...I've been doing some home staging for Realtor friends who need a boost in this buyer's market. I'll tell you more about that later, but for now I'll just say that I can't believe people pay me to go into their homes and decorate (I'd do it for free...shhhhhhhhh!).

And (I do know you aren't supposed to start a sentence with "And"...I am so rebellious) there is this exciting new venture:

Who's Fancy? I'm Fancy! I'm an *ahem* Editor (note capitalization); I'll be writing about health and related issues. Might as well make use of that neglected medical degree! It's a great site, and there are other bloggy names that you already know (and if you don't, you're in for a treat) contributing. Come join us! It's a great community.

For now, sleep calls.

But first...Happy Birthday, Bro'. I love you tons! You are The Great.


I have to go grab a tissue now to dab at my eyes

When we moved from the dream house we'd built and thought we'd be in forever to this far more modest rental we're now in, we tried to make the deal sweeter by telling our children that someday we'd purchase another home, and that we'd love it even more than the one we were leaving. Perhaps it would have a pool!

Today in the car as I was pulling up to our new digs, I asked my nine year-old son a question that had just popped into my head, "When we're ready to buy a house again, would you like it if we were able to buy this house, or would you rather move to a different one?"

He thought about it a moment, and then he responded, "I don't care...I just want us to have a nice house that isn't too much money, that we all like. We'll be happy together wherever we are."

He is the sweetest. boy. ever.


Fight For Your Right (To Not Be Fruuuuuuuuuuumpy)!!!

Kick it!

You wake up late for spinclasses man you don't wanna go
You beg youself, "Please?" but still you says, "No!"
You missed two classes and man it shows
So out of bed and to the gym you goes

You gotta fight for your right not be Frrruuuuuuuuuuumpy!

Your pants caught you doin' the muffin' and you says, "No way!"
That waistband is too tight (and not in the good way)
Man, living with this pouch is such a drag
Now you're gonna need to buy a new Fitness mag

You gotta fight for your right not be Frrruuuuuuuuuuumpy!

Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you gonna wear
Really, it's YOU about which you outta care
Your guilt busted in and said, "What's that noise?"
Seriously, I need me some self-respect poise!

You gotta fight for your right not be Frrruuuuuuuuuuumpy!

What I did with my tax refund

Yup, spent nearly a hundy dead presidents filling up our gas tanks. Woohoo!

So, what is that widget over there, anywho???

Telling It Like It Is has tagged me! It's meme that is connected to Entrecard, a social networking site that has a really unique and fun twist...when you join Entrecard, you create your own virtual business card. So as you cruise around visiting blogs, you can drop your card to say, "Hi!" with a quick click. You can also promote your own blog by placing your widget on their blog by using Entrecard credits; they are easily accumulated as you do what you do anyway...visiting your fave blogs.

Anyway, back to the meme...

Best Value By Widget Meme Rules:

* Link back to this post so people will know where the Meme came from and who tagged you. (No, I did not make up these rules).
* Link to each of the blogs listed on your Best Value By Widget stats page. Once you’ve linked to them, send them a message to let them know they have been tagged. (Of course, if they use Google Alerts or something like it, this step may not even be necessary).
* Go through each of the blogs you link to and stumble, digg, sphinn, zoom, or any other means to help bring them traffic. It is also recommended to favorite them on Technorati.
* Visit each of the sites listed in the meme, and offer up some social media love taps.
* If only half of these rules are followed, it will still help bring well-deserved traffic to these blogs.

Here are my best value widgets:

Table for Five
Looking towards Heaven (Karla is a special bloggy buddy of mine; I was thrilled to place my first Entrecard widget on her blog!)
Stream of Conciousness of a Wife and Mom
Posh Mama
Comfort Joy Designs

I'm super selective about whose blog I advertise on...these blogs are ALL worth checking out, to say the lease. And when you see someone advertising on my Entrecard widget, rest assured that I have thoroughly screened them before approving their ad. I reject far more than I approve...I'm a beyotch that way.


This blogger is in desperate need of assistance

I just found this blog and am sooooooooooooo addicted; I'm reading through the archives (shhhhh...don't tell my auction co-chair who is sitting in the next room as she thinks I'm working on auction stuff). It's a blog told from the perspective of a fetus/newborn who thinks it's a been abducted and held prisoner...first in the womb then, after escaping that cell, in fluffy blankies.

It's hysterical and totally unique. I mean, please join me in my quest to free this blogger from it's captors that hover incessantly and force it to watch spinning dangly things.


Rule of Thirds

Interested in more photography secrets? I hope so! Here's one that is guaranteed to increase the quality of your photos...and unlike last week's (which while super important was a teeny bit technical) this one is easy to incorporate into your everyday snapshots.

It's called the Rule of Thirds; I learned this one while studying photography, painting, AND design while in college. The deal is you divide your image into nine sections by two equally-spaced horizontal and vertical lines. Those four lines should ideally correlate to important features within your photograph. Additionally, the four intersections created these line can highlight features of your image. This is a very simple method of increasing visual interest in your subject.

Here is an example of a cute picture of The Cutest Puppy Ever where I didn't employ the technique (he's still adorable!):
So I've taken a step forward, flipped it vertically, turned on my flash, and employed the rule of thirds...here's the result:

I'd like to illustrate further what I mean by The Rule of Thirds; if you're like me, my above description won't hold a candle to this: Now does,
The deal is you divide your image into nine sections by two equally-spaced horizontal and vertical lines. Those four lines should ideally correlate to important features within your photograph. Additionally, the four intersections created these line can highlight features of your image.
make more sense? There are two lines that run across the image, and two that run up and down. If you are taking a picture with a horizon line, or a table line, or any horizontal line...if you place that line on one of those two guidelines you're pretty much sure of a good shot. Similarly, if you are taking pictures of a cliff, or a building, or people in front of a cliff or building, place those big details on the guidelines.

In this image, I wasn't working with architectural or geographical landmarks, but those far closer to home. The rules work there as well. The pillow functioned as horizontal lines, and The Cutest Puppy Ever provided vertical. Better yet, his cute little button nose (!) fell right into one of the intersections, which makes for an even stronger composition as it gives your eye a natural place to rest.

No worries, the Rule of Thirds is a forgiving rule. You don't need to be exact; more than anything you need to avoid placing horizontal and vertical lines in dead center of your photograph...while that might be the obvious composition and is perfectly fine, it won't be the extraordinary photograph you are striving towards!

Mostly, enjoy taking those photos of your beautiful subjects! Snap away and don't be afraid to be creative...you'll be amazed at the amazing photographs you'll take!


Sarah Silverman is F@cking Matt Damon

In case you, like me, are behind the times over the weekend and were wondering what everyone was talking/twitting about...